Impamvu Kubaka Urwawe Ari Ingirakamaro

1. Gushaka bishobora gutuma ubaho neza igihe kirekire

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Kaminuza ya California mu mwaka wa 2009 bwerekanye ko abantu bashinze urugo barwara gake ugereranyije n'abakiri ingaragu, kandi bakagira ubuzima bwiza. Ikindi ngo ni uko abatarashaka baba bafite ibyago byinshi byo kwicwa n’indwara zandura (infectious diseases), indwara z’umutima n’impanuka. Ibi biterwa n’uko umuntu warushinze aba afite uwo babana umwitaho, yarwara akamushyiraho igitutu cyo kwivuza. Umuntu washatse kandi yiyitaho, agaha agaciro ubuzima bwe kurusha ingaramakirambi (célibataire).

Hari ibintu twe abasore n’inkumi dukora duhubutse kuko tutaba twumva ingaruka byatugiraho, nta n'icyo twahomba (nothing to lose). Umuntu washatse we aba afite uko abona ejo hazaza he n’ibyo ateganya, ku buryo yitwararika akirinda guhubuka mu byo akora byose.

2. Biguha amahirwe yo kutazahambanwa ikara

Gutera inda cyangwa kuyiterwa ntibisaba kuba warashatse, kandi gushinga urugo ntibivuze buri gihe ko uba uzabyara. Nyamara gushinga urugo ni uburyo bwa mbere buzwi bwo kugira umuryango no kubyara abana bazabazungura, bityo ukazasiga akabuto imusozi, bikaba ari imwe mu ntego nkuru z’ubuzima bwa muntu ku isi. Nta handi umwana yakurira heza harenze mu muryango wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mwashinze.

3. Biguha gukundwa no kwizerwa muri sosiyete

Birazwi ko umuntu warushinze yizerwa muri sosiyete kurusha twe tukiri ingaramakirambi. Mu muco nyarwanda umusore warushingaga yagiraga intebe mu bagabo, ibitekerezo bye bigahabwa agaciro. Iyo umuntu aguhagaze imbere yambaye impeta ntumufata kimwe n’undi wese, ahubwo umubona nk’ufite expérience mu buzima, uzi ibyo akora, n'iyo byaba atariko bimeze.

Ubushakashatsi kandi bwerekanye ko umugabo warushinze agira amanota imbere y’inkumi. Ibi ntibivuze ko ugomba gushaka kugirango inkumi zikwemere, ahubwo birerekana uburyo umuntu warushinze agirirwa urugwiro kurusha selibateri.

Rimwe na rimwe, umuntu warushinze aba afite amahirwe menshi yo guhabwa ibyangombwa byo kujya mu mahanga, guhabwa inguzanyo muri banki, guhabwa akazi n’ibindi kurusha utararushinga kuko kurushinga byerekana ko umuntu ari hamwe (stable). Hari ibihugu umuntu warushinze akurirwaho imisoro imwe n'imwe.

4. Ibyishimo byo kuba ufite ugukunda ukwitayeho

Iyo bigenze neza, abarushinganye bagirana urukundo rw’akaramata, bakanaruraga abana bazabyara. Kugirirwa urukundo nabyo biri mu bituma ubuzima bw’abashakanye bumera neza kurushaho kurusha ubw’abaselibateri. Ikindi ni uko abashakanye bagerwaho n’ibyo abashakashatsi bise “ibyiza bikomoka ku mibonano mpuzabitsina” birimo kutagira stress, kongera ukwirwanaho kw'umubiri, kugira uruhu rwiza, amaraso atembera neza. N’ubwo abaselibateri (benshi ) nabo bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, abashakanye bo baba babyemerewe bitiswe ubusambanyi, bikanatuma bizerana, ntibitangire kandi ntibashyuhaguzwe.

5. Bigufasha gutera imbere

Umutwe umwe ntiwigira inama. Iyo muri babiri mujya inama, mugafashanya kandi mugaterana imbaraga. Iyo umwe agize intege nke mu buzima bwe cyangwa mu kazi, undi aba ahari akamusunika, akamutera ingabo mu bitugu, akamufasha gutera intambwe ijya imbere.

Iyo ufite urugo uba ubona imbere yawe, ugaharanira kuhagera kandi ntutinye kwaka inkunga mugenzi wawe. Iyo mwembi mufite akazi murafashanya, ntihagire ugira ikibazo cy’amafaranga, cyane cyane iyo mwavanze umutungo.

Ibyo byiza byose byo kugira urugo, haba bike tuvuze hano n’ibyo tutavuze, bigerwaho iyo abashakanye bakundana, bakumvikana kandi bakagira uburyo bunoze bwo gukemura ibibazo bahura nabyo. Iyo bitameze gutyo usanga ahubwo bombi b

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