Menya Kuganiriza Umwana Wawe

Iyo umuntu akiri muto, usanga akenshi yihatira kubaza ababyeyi be ku byo agenda abona ndetse akabagisha inama ku byo yifuza gukora, byazagirira akamaro ahazaza he heza.

Ibi ariko umuntu abikora agendeye ku bimubaho mu buzima bwe bwa buri mu munsi (byiza cyangwa bibi); kubera ko aba afitiye icyizere ababyeyi be. Gusa na none biterwa n’umuco cyangwa imibanire y’ababyeyi be kuko akenshi hari aho usanga umugabo aba atinyitse mu muryango, abana bagatinya kugira icyo bamubaza. Icyo gihe iyo umwana agize ikibazo nta wundi akibwira uretse mama we kuko aba yumva ko azamugerera byoroshye kuri papa we cyane nk’iyo hari ubufasha yari amukeneyeho.

Imyifatire nk’iyi rero ngo si myiza, kuko usanga iyo nta kiganiro cyabaye hagati y’abana n’ababyeyi babo, bishobora kuba byazagira ingaruka zitarinzi mu mikurire yabo. Kuvugana (la communication) hagati y’umubyeyi n’umwana, ni uburyo bwiza umwana ambiriramo umubyeyi we akamuri ku mutima. Ntabwo biba byoroshye na gato ku mubyeyi, ariko ni byiza gufata iyambere ukegera umwana, ukamubaza mu magambo yoroheje niba yagize umunsi mwiza (igihe avuye nko ku ishuri), cyangwa se niba nta kibazo yahuye nacyo ku ishuri.

Ibi bizamwereka ko nibura hari umwanya umuha mu buzima bwe nk’umubyeyi we. Hari igihe ashobora kukwihorera kubera ko atashye ananiwe, cyangwa ashonje, ariko burya iyo amaze kuruhuka amaze nko gufungura ni akanya keza ko kumubaza uko umunsi wamugendekeye. Aha ni byiza ko wamubwira ibyo cyera wakoraga bigatuma utsinda kuko byamwongerera umuhate (motivemotion) mu masomo cyangwa mu buzima yifuza kuzabamo mu gihe kiri imbere. Hari igihe ushobora kubaza umwana uko ku ishuri bimeze, akagusaba ko muhindura ikiganiro cyangwa ukabona ashaka kukunyuza mu yindi nzi icyo gihe uba ugomba kwitonda ndetse ukamukurikiranira hafi, kuko akenshi hari impamvu iba yamuteye kubiguhisha.

Zimwe mu mpamvu zatuma umwana ataganira n’umubyeyi we:

Mugihe umubyeyi abura umwanya kubera akazi: icyo gihe umwana ntabasha kubona umubyeyi we. Burya ngo abana ni abarimu bakuru, rero barareba kandi baratekereza. Ugomba kwitonda, kandi ukareba kure nk’umubyeyi, kuko n’ubwo uhihibikana ushaka ibyo kurya cyangwa se n’amafaranga y’ishuri ku mwana, ugomba no kumenya ko burya umwana akeneye indero y’umubyeyi wamuhaye ubuzima

Iyo ufite ingeso yo kubwira nabi umwana uje agusanga: Umwana igihe aje agusanga rimwe na rimwe arira, aba akeneye ko umuhoza. Ugomba kwirinda kurakazwa n’ikosa yakoze ahubwo ukihutira kumenya impamvu ya muteye ishavu. Kuko iyo weretse umwana ugusanga ko utamwitayeho, bishobora gutuma atazongera kumva akwisanzuyeho. Birashoboka ko umwe mubo mubana yaba yakurakaje, icyo gihe ugomba kwihangana ntuture umwana wawe uwo mujinya watewe n’undi muntu.

Agira icyo avuga ku buryo umubyeyi agomba kwita ku mwana we Tiffany Field, Umuyobozi mu ishuri rikuru rikora ubushakashatsi mu bijyanye no gukoranaho (le toucher), riri ahitwa Miami muri Leta Zunze ubumwe z’Amerika, ya gize ati: "Gukora ku mwana ni ikintu cy’ingenzi ku girango umenye niba amereweza, kuruta uko wamukoresha undi mwitozo".

Kumena ibanga ry’ibyo waganirijwe n’umwana: Igihe umwana akubwiye amabanga ye nk’umubyeyi, nyuma ukamuvamo ukabiganirira inshuti zawe ,menya ko umwana namenya ko uganiriza bagenzi bawe amabanga aba akubikije, ashobora kutazongera na rimwe kukugirira icyizere, kuko azumva ko wamuvuyemo. Gusa aramutse akubwiye ibintu ukumva bikurenze, wabiganira n’abandi kugira ngo bakugire inama ariko batamenye ko ibyo ubabaza byabaye ku mwana wawe cyangwa undi ubereye umwishingizi.

Igihe birebana n’ubuzima, ni byiza ko wakwegera abajyanama b’ubuzima cyangwa abaganga mu by’imikurire n’imihindagurikire y’umubiri w’umuntu, bakagufasha mu burere uha abana bawe. Kuganira n’umwana wawe si ibyo guhubukira ahubwo ni ibintu bisaba igihe n’umwanya uhagije.
Ni byiza ko ababyeyi bakwihatira kwegera abana babo, kuko bituma babagirira icyizere bityo bakabagira n’abajyana mu buzima bwabo.

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