Amakosa 6 Abagore Bakora Akabasenyera

Umuntu ashobora kwibaza ati kuki izo ngo zishya? Ese ni nde uba yagize uruhare mu kuzitwika? Ese hakorwa iki kugira ngo ibyenyegeza umuriro w’amakimbirane hagati y’abashakanye byigizweyo? Mu isesengura rigenda rikorwa n’abantu batandukanye, bigaragara ko nubwo koko abagabo batatira indahiro y’ubudahemuka baca inyuma abagore babo ariko n’abagore nabo si shyashya dore ko ngo baba ari ba nyirabayazana w’ibibazo bimwe na bimwe bibabaho nko gucibwa inyuma no kubura urukundo rw’abo bihebeye kuzabana ubuziraherezo. Dore rero amakosa 6 akomeye cyane atuma abagabo bibagirwa abo bashakanye kandi ari bo kabitera:

Ikosa rya 1: Kudafata iya mbere ngo usabe umugabo wawe ko mwakora imibonano mpuzabitsina

Nk’uko bitangazwa na Les Parrot, umwarimu w’Ibijyanye n’imyitwarire y’abantu muri Kaminuza ya Seattle Pacific mu gitabo yise “Crazy Good S8x” ngo kunanirwa gufata iya mbere mu gikorwa cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina ku mugore ni ikosa rikomeye cyane ndetse rinasenyera bamwe mu bagore mu mibanire yabo n’abo bashakanye. Nk’uko abitangaza ngo abagabo hafi ya bose bahora aribo bafata iya mbere muri iki gikorwa bityo bakagera aho bumva babirambiwe bibwira ko urukundo rw’abagore babo ruba rwaragabanutse cyangwa ari ntarwo. Arangiza avuga ko n’abagabo baba bakeneye kunganirwa muri iki gikorwa cyo gusaba gutera akabariro kugira ngo hatazamo ubusumbane maze bikarangira umugabo atagifitiye ipfa umugore we.

Arangiza agira inama abagore ko niba bashaka kubaka urukundo ruva ku bagabo babo rugakomera ko bakwiye kujya bafata iya mbere bakerekana ko bashishikajwe n’iki gikorwa mbumbatirarugo. Ngo bishimisha abagabo kandi nabo ubwabo bikabafasha kwishima.

Ikosa rya 2: Gutekereza ku isura yabo mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina

Igihe cyinshi usanga bamwe mu bagore bakimara bitekerazaho cyane uko basa inyuma ku isura. Usanga bigoye cyane kubona umugore wasohotse imuhira atitwaje mu ruhago rwe indorerwamo, amavuta, puderi, amavuta n’ibindi birungo bitandukanye mu rwego rwo kugira ngo ajye yirimbisha isaha ku isaha. Ngo ibi rero byo guhora umugore yitekerezaho uko asa cyane cyane igihe igikorwa nyamukuru kirimo gukorwa ngo bituma atacyishimira ndetse bikaba byanamubera intandaro yo kutagera ku byishimo by’imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Niyo mpamvu akenshi iyo umugore abigize akamenyero agahora ahangayitse ko ashobora kuba agenda ava kuri mode bitiza umurindi umugabo wo gutangira guheheta aho yifuza kuba yakwikundanira n’abakobwa bakiri bato kandi bafite ubushake n’ibakwe muri iki gikorwa ndetse kandi bamwe bakanabigeraho.

Aha rero ngo abagore ntibakwiye gutekereza ku bicece biri ku nda, umubyibuho wabo, imisatsi itameze neza se cyangwa se ibirungo runaka bishobora kubangama bishyizeho igihe uyu mukino w’urukundo utangiye. Ahubwo ngo bakwiye gutekereza kubyo bari gukorana na bagenzi babo mbese bakabirekurira kugira ngo biborohere kugera ku ndunduro y’ibyishimo.

Ikosa rya 3: Gutekereza ko abagabo badaha agaciro imibonano mpuzabitsina

Aha abagore bamwe bafite imyumvire ya kera ibasenyera yo kumva ko bagomba kurushya abagabo babo kugira ngo bakoreshe imbaraga z’umurengera babatereta gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina. Abandi nabo bafite imyumvire yo kwiyumvisha ko ngo niba baryamanye n’abagabo babo ari nk’impuhwe baba babagiriye bityo ugasanga batareba kure ngo barebe umumaro w’imibonano mpuzabitsina mu kubaka urugo nk’uko umunyarwanda yabivuze ko ngo ari ugutera akabariro kandi burya utera urubariro aho ushaka ko hakomera!

Abandi nabo bagira ikosa ryo kwishuka ko ngo imibonano mpuzabitsina atari ikintu gikomeye mu kubaka urugo bityo ugasanga bashyizeho ingengabihe y’icyo gikorwa aho bamwe batanatinya kuba bamaza abagabo babo ukwezi kurenga batarabapimira!
Nk’uko Parrott abitangaza, ngo abagore n’abagabo bakwiye kubaka umuryango ukundana, bakagirana ubucuti bwimbitse cyane bishingiye ku mibonano mpuzabitsina. Ngo abagore bakwiye kumenya agaciro k’imibonano mpuzabitsina mu myubakire y’umuryango uhamye wunze ubumwe, urangwa n’urukundo rudasaza ndeste no gushyira hamwe muri byose kandi bakanamenya ko ari urufunguzo rwo kwigwizaho gukundwakazwa n’abagabo. Aha rero abagore bamwe bakwiye kwivanamo ya myumvire yadutse iki gihe yo gutera umugongo umufasha cyangwa ndarushye ya buri gihe, ndi mu bihe bibi, ariko nawe ntujya uhaga n’izindi nzitwazo nk’izo z’urucantege.

Ikosa rya 4: Kwibeshya ko buri gihe umugabo wawe aba yiteguye gukorana nawe imibonano mpuzabitsina

Abagore benshi bakunze gukora ikosa rikomeye ryo kwibwira ko igitsina cy’abagabo gihora gihagaze mbese kiteguye gukora. Yego ku bahungu bakiri bato bafite ifemba y’imibonano mpuzabitsina birashoboka kuko bahora biteguye igihe icyo ari cyo cyose kubera amaraso yabo aba agishyushye. Ariko ku bagabo bubatse ingo si ko bimeze. Ibi bigaterwa n’imihate ya buri munsi umugabo abamo, kwita ku muryango, ndetse no kuba afite amadeni amuremereye n’izindi nshingano zitamworohera. Ibi byose bigabanya ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ku mugabo. Nyamara bamwe mu bagore ntibatinya kubendera aho bababoneye batabanje kubategura mu mutwe maze bagatungurwa no gusanga abagabo babo batiteguye kubakira. Ibi bituma batangira kubakeka amababa ndetse bamwe ntibanatinye kubashyira ku nkeke babacyurira kutabakunda n’ibindi bigaragaza gufuha gukabije.

Ikosa rya 5: Kutayobora umugabo wawe ahakunyura mu gihe muhuza urugwiro

Nk’uko bitangazwa na Parrot, ngo abantu bafata imibonano mpuzabitsina nk’ubwiru bityo ugasanga mu kiganiro cy’abashakanye ntibabasha kubwizanya ukuri ku gikorwa bakorana ngo umwe abe yabwira undi ibimunyura, ibitamunyura kabone n’ubwo baba bamaranye igihe kirekire. Kenshi usanga nko mu Rwanda abagore baryumaho ahubwo akazajya kuzimurira mugenzi we ushobora kumushora mu ngeso zitari nziza zo guca amazi umugabo we no guhora amushihura kandi atanamubwira mu by’ukuri icyo amuziza.

Nk’uko uyu mwanditsi akomeza abivuga ngo nta mugabo ushobora gutuma umugore we agera ku ndunduro y’ibyishimo by’igikorwa cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina igihe cyose umugore we atabigizemo uruhare rugaragara mu gihe uyu murimo ukorwa. Bityo abagore bakaba bakwiye kureka bimwe byo mu muco bibabuza kuvuga akabari ku mutima mu gihe bubaka urugo kugira ngo bizabafashe kwishimana n’abagabo babo.

Ikosa rya 6: Kubura amahoro igihe umugabo azanye agashya mu mushyikirano w’abashakanye

Abashakanye bamaranye igihe bakenera guhanga udushya mu rwego rwo kuryoshya umushyikirano wabo dore ko burya abantu baba badakwiye gohora mu ndirimbo imwe nka rusake! Biba ikibazo cyane iyo umugabo agize gutya akazana agashya mu buriri. Usanga bamwe mu bagore batabyakira neza ndetse bagatangira gukeka ko abagabo babo babaca inyuma. Aha rero abagore bakaba bagirwa inama ko niba abagabo babo bazanye udushya mu buriri basanzwe batamenyereye cyangwa se badashaka ku bw’impamvu runaka zitandukanye bakwiye kubisobanurira abagabo babo ndetse kandi bakanababwira n’impamvu batabashyigikiye mu kusa icyo kivi bifashishije uburyo bushya. Gusa ibi umugore akwiye kubivuga mu buryo budakomeretsa umugabo kandi akabigirana urukundo.

Ntibikwiye ko ingo ziba imiyonga ku bwo kutamenya ibyangiza umubano wazo ngo byirindwe hakiri kare. Birakwiye rero ko abantu bareka imico imwe n’imwe yo gutsinda ibijyanye n’amabanga y’uburiri hagati y’abashakanye dore ko hariya ari naho ruzingiye ingata. Mu gihe cyose mu buriri bimeze nabi, uko byagenda kose nubwo abantu baba bigwijeho imitungo iruta iya Mirenge ku ntenyo, biragoye kugira ngo urwo rugo ruzakomere kuko ruba rwubatse ku musenyi cyangwa hejuru y’amazi. Abashakanye rero nibave hasi babwizanye ukuri kandi bongere urukundo hagati yabo bityo gucana inyuma kweze muri iki gihe ku isi ndetse no mu Rwanda bizashira.

Related Posts by Categories