Kwiyemera (narcicism) ni bumwe mu burwayi bubi bushobora kwangiza imibanire hagati y’abantu

Mu buzima bwa muntu biba byiza iyo yihaye agaciro ndetse kandi akanagaha abandi bamuzengurutse. Ibi biramutse bigezweho abantu bakabasha kubahana ndetse no gushyira hamwe nta wishyize hejuru, nta kabuza abantu bagera kuri byinshi byabateza imbere mu mibereho yabo kandi bikanafasha amagara yabo gusigasirwa. Nyamara hari imico bamwe mu bantu bagaragaza ndetse ikabangamira imibanire yabo na bagenzi babo ndetse n’umuryango muri rusange bitaretse n’iterambere ry’umuryango runaka. Umwe muri iyo mico kandi ukaba n’indwara ikomeye ititabwaho muri ibi bihugu bikiri mu nzira y’iterambere ni ukwiyemera (narcicism).

Kwiyemera ni kimwe mu bibazo byo mu mutwe bituma umuntu yiyumva nk’igitangaza ndetse akanagira kwisingiza birenze urugero. Abafite ubu burwayi bashaka kwiyerekana mu babazengurutse ko ari abantu bakomeye ndetse ugasanga batanabaha agaciro.
Mu rwego rwo gusobanukirwa neza n’iyo ndwara, twabakusanirije bimwe mu bimenyetso simusiga byakwereka umuntu ufite iki kibazo cyo kwiyemera, kwisingiza no kwihugiraho. Bimwe muri byo ni ibi bikurikira:

• Abantu biyemera bose biyumva nk’ibitangaza ndetse bakanashaka ko n’ababazengurutse bababona gutyo batabikora bikabyara amakimbirane
• Barangwa no kwihugiraho. Kugirana umushyikirano n’abandi kwabo gukunze kuba nk’igitonyanga mu nyanja uretse ababasingiza nibo bagirana umubano gusa
• Ntibabasha gushyira mu gaciro ngo barebe ingaruka bateza umuryango igihe imyitwarire yabo igize abo ibangamira
• Barangwa no kutihangana ndetse no kwikunda cyane
• Barakazwa n’ubusa no kuba ibifura cyane mu gihe babwiwe ibitagenda kuri bo cyangwa se bagiriwe inama y’icyo gukora
• Batinya igisebo kuruta uko batinya gukora amakosa
• Barishongora cyane
• Bashimishwa no gukoresha abandi nta gihembo ndetse no kugama mu bandi
• Barirarira cyane ndetse bakanakabya cyane iyo bigeze mu kurata ibyo yagezeho kabone nubwo ibyo bakoze byaba bidafitiye umumaro umuryango mugari
• Usanga bigira ba nyirandabizi mu tuntu twose ndetse bakanakunda kwigaragaza n’aho batabyemerewe
• Batsimbarara ku makosa yabo kuko batagirwa inama
• Ikindi kintu kibi kiranga mwene aba bantu ni ishyari no kwifuza iby’abandi ndetse no guterwa agahinda n’uko abandi hari icyo bagezeho kizima bo badafite.

Nubwo impamvu nyakuri itera iki kibazo cyo kwiyumva nk’umuntu w’igitangaza itaramenyekana, abashakashatsi bamwe bemeza ko iyi ndwara ifite imizi mu buryo ababyeyi bafatamwo abana mu buto bwabo. Bumwe mu buryo bw’imirere y’abana bushobora gutuma mu mikurire yabo bagira iki kibazo cyo kwiyumva nk’abantu b’ibitangaza harimwo:

• Kutita ku mpungenge cyangwa ibintu nkenerwa umwana aba asabye
• Kwima umwana urukundo rwa kibyeyi no kutamutera akanyabugabo mu gihe akoze ikintu cyiza
• Gufata umwana nabi no kumuhohotera
• Gutetesha umwana ukarenza urugero no kuba tereririyo mu mirere y’umwana aribyo bituma akura abura ubumuntu muri we
• Kudaha umwana urugero rwiza mu muryango

Nubwo iki kibazo gifatwa minenembwe mu muryango nyarwanda ndetse hakaba nta n’ubushakashatsi bugikorwaho, imyitwarire imwe n’imwe nko gufata ibiyobyabwenge ku kigero kirenze bisigaye biranga bamwe mu rubyiruko bifite imizi muri iyi ndwara yo mutwe yo kwiyemera. Izindi ngaruka zikomoka kuri iki kibazo igihe kidashakiwe umuti hakiri kare harimo kugira intimba ikabije (depression), kugira ibitekerezo byerekeza ku kwiyahura, kugirana amakimbirane mu miryango, ndetse no kugirana ibibazo n’abandi ku kazi n’ahandi.

Mu gihe ubona bagenzi bawe batangiye kujya bakwihunza, mu gihe ubona ugirana amakimbirane hagati yawe n’abakuzengurutse yaba mu rugo, ku ishuri cyangwa se aho ukorera cyangwa utangiye kumva uvangirwa n’uburyo ucunga umutungo wawe, ni byiza kwihutira kureba umuganga wizewe w’indwara zo mu mutwe kugira ngo aguhe ubujyanama cyangwa anakuvure bibaye ngombwa.

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